Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Hard Cheese!

In my innocent youth, now, alas, long gone, I naively assumed that governments were in place to defend and protect its citizens, send the odd gunboat off to settle diplomatic disputes and pass occasional laws at the behest of its people, on whose behalf it was acting.
Seems I was wrong. Now the British government has assumed the mantle formerly worn by dictators and, regardless of the wishes of its people who have rather carelessly elected it, imposed all sorts of piffling regulations that impinge directly on the freedom, health and happiness of its electorate.
Forget, if you can, for a moment, congestion charges, CCTV cameras, taxation by stealth, lack of policemen on the beat and all those other minor irritations.
For now the government has become obsessed with cheese. General de Gaulle once remarked that it was impossible to govern a country with as many different cheeses as France and this is, perhaps, what Westminster had in mind. By reducing the cheese consumption, their performance in government will be better.
Banning the advertising of cheese during children’s programmes must rank right up there with some of the most bizarre regulations imposed by any government. Even Mugabe has not gone that far, and neither did Hitler, Mussolini nor, as far as I know, Franco.
The thought that children, on seeing an advert for Wensleydale, would immediately rush to the larder and consume a wedge or two is so obviously nuts that it hardly bears thinking about.
It could also be compounded, I suppose, by imagining that cheese eating kids might rush out and indulge in that other forbidden practice, unauthorised tree climbing or, heaven forbid, be tempted to play at conkers without face masks and knuckle protection. The potential for harm that a chunk or two of Double Gloucester might do to a child is clearly grounds for alarm and requires immediate government intervention.
But perhaps the most telling indication of a myopic bunch of bureaucrats is that they classify “The Simpsons” as being a children’s programme.
I suppose they’ve never heard of satire.

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1 Comments:

Blogger s.j.simon said...

:) did you know how cheese was invented? It wasnt necessity, it was an accident, read this

9:59 am  

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